Remember how I was talking about how awesome this ‘Sox Appeal’ dating show could be and how great the NESN broadcast team is? Well yesterday’s Patriots Day game provided the world with a little glimpse of exactly why it has the potential to be absolutely hilarious and why Jerry and Don rule.
Incase you live under a rock haven’t seen the video yet here it is. You can also see it at Deadspin and Bar Stool Sports. During JD Drew’s at bat in the seventh inning he hit a pop up into foul territory and a couple fans tried to catch it but collided with Garrett Anderson’s glove getting six dollar beers all over themselves. The seemingly out of no where some dude launches a slice of pizza and drills one of the guys in the neck. This leads to a solid three minutes of commentary from Jerry and Don, needless to say hilarity ensues.
As it turns out these two assclowns were giving the Pizza Guy shit for having pizza at a baseball game and after the guy failed to come up with the foul ball Pizza Guy unleashed hell in the form of Fenway Park Papa Gino’s. The guy that got hit, apparently a Mainer, took exception, his girlfriend tried to calm him down but he clearly wanted to throw down. I picture the guys comments sounding something like this.
“hey fuck you, buddy…oh what, yah I’ll kick ya fuck ass you fucking homo…come over here…no I’m not gonna stop this fucking pussy thinks he’s funny throwing fucking pizza…hey fuck you chuckle head, I’m gonna climb ova these fucking seats and beat ya fucking head in buddy…fucking faggot.”
Yeah just that looped over four or five times, that’s why ‘Sox Appeal’ is going to be hilarious. Every dating show has two things in common, at least one of the people the show trots out is a complete fucking idiot and at least one of the people is a total creep and the shit that comes out of their mouths is either grossly offensive or borderline sexual predator. Now add in the fact that the girls and guys on the show are from the Boston area and are Sox fans means there is at least a one in three chance that either someone will have a really thick accent, the girl is going to have a mouth like a sailor, the guy is going to be an alcoholic, the guy is going to yell anything and everything at anything and everything including the girl by the seventh inning and/or he will try to fight someone in the stands.
Maybe we’ll even get a match made in heaven with a couple of complete clichés, like a drunk guy named Sully, some chick that swears so much it completely ruins the meaning of the word fuck, they’ll both drink heavily and then get into a fight with someone in the stands over something really stupid. Like having pizza in the stands or someone being a Yankees fan at a Red Sox/Yankees game, how dare they right? I mean they can go to hell but do we need to resort to fisticuffs over it.
My only hope is that when it happens Jerry and Don have a full access to camera shots of all the daters during the game that they get to rip into. You know what, for the hell of it why doesn’t NESN get the fat guy from the NESN catalog that they always rip on to be one of the daters, they would have a field day. God I love the Red Sox.
Showing posts with label NESN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NESN. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
The (Red Sox) Dating Game
Just when I thought I had seen it all Boston Dirt Dogs broke this story. ‘Sox Appeal’, a Red Sox dating reality show. Nope I’m not making that up.
“New England’s most watched sports network, is teaming up with nationally recognized and Emmy Award winning Scout Productions (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy) on Sox Appeal, a new reality show that proves there is more than one way to score at a baseball game.”
See I told you so. Sad thing is I will probably end up watching this show religiously, after all I was in at City of Palms Park for the Queer Eye Episode. Yes I stayed and watched a team of little leaguers yell at the Queer Eye guys for not knowing how to play baseball. Culminating in a 9 year old short stop drilling one of them in the chest with a ball as he tried to turn two.
“New England’s most watched sports network, is teaming up with nationally recognized and Emmy Award winning Scout Productions (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy) on Sox Appeal, a new reality show that proves there is more than one way to score at a baseball game.”
See I told you so. Sad thing is I will probably end up watching this show religiously, after all I was in at City of Palms Park for the Queer Eye Episode. Yes I stayed and watched a team of little leaguers yell at the Queer Eye guys for not knowing how to play baseball. Culminating in a 9 year old short stop drilling one of them in the chest with a ball as he tried to turn two.
No joke I thought Kevin Millar was going to cry he was laughing so hard.
Here’s the basic idea.
“Shot inside historic Fenway Park, Sox Appeal follows a series of three, two-inning long blind dates that take place over the course of 8 televised Red Sox games. The dates will be taped with cameras following one Hero dater as they meet three romantic hopefuls (one every two innings). During the 7th inning stretch, the Hero must decide who to invite to share the seat next to them for the rest of the game, but there’s still room for a strikeout as the invite can be declined. From love at first sight to the ultimate blind date disaster, the only sure thing is that they’re all Sox fans.”
Here’s the basic idea.
“Shot inside historic Fenway Park, Sox Appeal follows a series of three, two-inning long blind dates that take place over the course of 8 televised Red Sox games. The dates will be taped with cameras following one Hero dater as they meet three romantic hopefuls (one every two innings). During the 7th inning stretch, the Hero must decide who to invite to share the seat next to them for the rest of the game, but there’s still room for a strikeout as the invite can be declined. From love at first sight to the ultimate blind date disaster, the only sure thing is that they’re all Sox fans.”
It’s got guilty pleasure written all over it. Sure try and tell yourself you're not going to watch. I know you secretly watch the Duel and Next. After you finish trying to find out when they are doing casting for the show check out the full article.
Things to think about while Don Orsillo is resting his voice
Fastjoey9: I don’t want to watch sports until the baseball season starts.
That sentence pretty much sums up my feelings right now. The Pats-Colts game has been digested, throw up, re-eaten and thrown up again. I’m done talking about it, I’m done thinking about it. It sucked…a lot but now it’s done.
Let’s just say thanks to Fox for prison break and 24 (and I don’t thank Fox very often) since without those two shows I would have watched the Celtics lose the Spurs for the 18th straight time (they haven’t beaten San Antonio in 10 years). I can’t wait to see Kevin Durant in a C’s uniform next year.
“I don’t want to watch sports until the baseball season starts” that quote keeps circling in my head. Especially since it came from one of the biggest Boston sports fans I’ve ever known. I don’t blame him for saying it, I know a lot of people that feel the same way. It felt just as crappy when the Red Sox have lost as it did the other night, but I think it was a little different because it felt unexpected, after all it was Tom and Bill.
I haven’t turned on ESPN since Sunday. I haven’t even picked up the sports page of the globe, but I did flip on NESN briefly to catch some Celtics highlights (I shut it off before the Patriots Year in Review) and I saw a commercial that reminded me of Joey’s quote.
Don Orsillo sat at a desk with a cup of tea steeping by his side. He picked up a stack of note cards and held them up to the camera.
They read.
RESTING MY VOICE
DOCTOR’S ORDERS
TO MANY WALK OFF WINS
Then I saw a montage of Big Papi swings and home plate celebrations, and smiled. It’s almost time for the Red Sox again. The Sox have made a lot of moves this off season but they still have some lingering questions, some that will be answered in the next month leading to Spring Training and others that will take more time to be worked out.
What’s the deal with JD Drew?
It’s been 48 days and counting since the Red Sox and Drew agreed, in principal, to a five year, 70-million dollar contract. At first I was down on this move big time, Drew just doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who fits with the Red Sox. He seems like a me first guy that doesn’t play up to his potential and is oft injured.
In thinking about all of that I wonder how much of my opinion has been formed by the bad rap that he has gotten over time, especially since his whole ordeal in Philadelphia
Side note: He sat out the 1997 season after he and agent Scott Boras guaranteed he wouldn’t sign for less than 10 million.
I’m willing to give Drew a chance. However I hope that the Sox are smart about the contract language, which is the supposed reason why it’s taking so long to sign him. If he goes down with an injury the Sox should make sure that they are protected from paying him for not playing. Trot is gone and Wily Mo’s not quite ready yet, but I’m ready to give JD Drew a chance.
What about Dice-K
What will Dice-K bring to the table in 2007, I have no idea. I will probably stay safe and say he’ll go something like 16-9 or 17-10 with an ERA around 3.00. Assuming he’s the number three starter and Beckett and Schilling pitch well then Matsuzaka is a solid third starter. He’s also only 26 and never pitched in the majors, so you can’t expect him to go 23-4 with a 1.78 ERA in his rookie year.
I think he’ll be good and I think he will come out of the gate strong. He’ll struggle with some things but overall I think he’s going to have a good rookie year. The unfortunate thing is that Boston is a fishbowl. If Schilling and Beckett don’t pitch like they are expected to and Dice-K struggles then the fans will be unforgiving. If those three pitch well we’ve got a great top three, probably not better than 2004 (as far as the playoffs go) but certainly a top tier three man rotation.
If Matsuzaka pans out and pitches like people think he can then the Red Sox will be looking good in the pitching department for the future, granted you can NEVER have enough pitching, but Beckett, Dice-K, Papelbon and Lester are all young (under 28) and could make up one of the top rotations in the league.
Who’s the Closer?
While we don’t know who the Red Sox closer is going to be in 2007, I’d love to see Papelbon but I doubt they’ll risk him getting hurt again, there is one thing that is for certain. Closer by committee doesn’t work. The Sox have added a number of bullpen arms but no designated closer. I have confidence Theo will figure things out before spring training starts but if he doesn’t add another arm, who will emerge as the closer?
Right now the front runners are Joel Pineiro and Brendan Donnelley. Doesn’t inspire much confidence but Craig Hansen hasn’t proven he’s ready yet, Mike Timlin is more suited to the set up role and Julian Tavarez wasn’t very good until the games didn’t matter. Right now I’d say Donnelley, with Pineiro being more of a long or middle reliever.
How about some love for the offense?
Obviously a large portion of the offense falls on the shoulders of Manny and Big Papi, those two can definitely give the Sox a chance to win any game on any given day. To make another run at the World Series they will have to get some help from other guys. Guys like Youkilis and Lowell have showed what they can do.
Wily Mo Pena will hopefully give the lineup some extra pop when he is playing, while Julio Lugo should add some speed to the line up which could lead to scoring runs with Papi and Manny hitting behind him.
Lugo and Drew (if they sign him) will be the biggest question marks and people will be expecting them to make an immediate impact. Anything you get from Dustin Pedroia is a bonus as far as I am concerned. The guy who I’m looking for to step up is my boy Coco Crisp. I think Crisp got a bad rap last year because he struggled and Damon did so well in New York.
Crisp got off to a great start and really looked like he was going to be a good replacement for Damon, he’s a different player but he adds speed and some power (Damon’s power numbers are helped by Yankee Stadiums short porch in right). I think he will have the biggest turn around; after all he missed a ton of time with that broken thumb. I see Crisp hitting over .300 with 15-20 homers and a solid number of RBI’s.
He’s not a stellar lead off hitter but with Youkilis and Lugo up top the Red Sox can move him down in the line up which adds speed to the part of the line up that will feature Drew (maybe), Varitek, Lowell and Pedroia. A lot of people will be expecting an immediate impact from the new guys but I think Crisp will have something to prove this year and I think he will do it.
Whatever happens in 2007 it’s sure to be another roller coaster ride, so rest your voice Don. I have a feeling Big Papi and the Sox will have a few more walk off wins for you and Jerry.
That sentence pretty much sums up my feelings right now. The Pats-Colts game has been digested, throw up, re-eaten and thrown up again. I’m done talking about it, I’m done thinking about it. It sucked…a lot but now it’s done.
Let’s just say thanks to Fox for prison break and 24 (and I don’t thank Fox very often) since without those two shows I would have watched the Celtics lose the Spurs for the 18th straight time (they haven’t beaten San Antonio in 10 years). I can’t wait to see Kevin Durant in a C’s uniform next year.
“I don’t want to watch sports until the baseball season starts” that quote keeps circling in my head. Especially since it came from one of the biggest Boston sports fans I’ve ever known. I don’t blame him for saying it, I know a lot of people that feel the same way. It felt just as crappy when the Red Sox have lost as it did the other night, but I think it was a little different because it felt unexpected, after all it was Tom and Bill.
I haven’t turned on ESPN since Sunday. I haven’t even picked up the sports page of the globe, but I did flip on NESN briefly to catch some Celtics highlights (I shut it off before the Patriots Year in Review) and I saw a commercial that reminded me of Joey’s quote.
Don Orsillo sat at a desk with a cup of tea steeping by his side. He picked up a stack of note cards and held them up to the camera.
They read.
RESTING MY VOICE
DOCTOR’S ORDERS
TO MANY WALK OFF WINS
Then I saw a montage of Big Papi swings and home plate celebrations, and smiled. It’s almost time for the Red Sox again. The Sox have made a lot of moves this off season but they still have some lingering questions, some that will be answered in the next month leading to Spring Training and others that will take more time to be worked out.
What’s the deal with JD Drew?
It’s been 48 days and counting since the Red Sox and Drew agreed, in principal, to a five year, 70-million dollar contract. At first I was down on this move big time, Drew just doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who fits with the Red Sox. He seems like a me first guy that doesn’t play up to his potential and is oft injured.
In thinking about all of that I wonder how much of my opinion has been formed by the bad rap that he has gotten over time, especially since his whole ordeal in Philadelphia
Side note: He sat out the 1997 season after he and agent Scott Boras guaranteed he wouldn’t sign for less than 10 million.
I’m willing to give Drew a chance. However I hope that the Sox are smart about the contract language, which is the supposed reason why it’s taking so long to sign him. If he goes down with an injury the Sox should make sure that they are protected from paying him for not playing. Trot is gone and Wily Mo’s not quite ready yet, but I’m ready to give JD Drew a chance.
What about Dice-K
What will Dice-K bring to the table in 2007, I have no idea. I will probably stay safe and say he’ll go something like 16-9 or 17-10 with an ERA around 3.00. Assuming he’s the number three starter and Beckett and Schilling pitch well then Matsuzaka is a solid third starter. He’s also only 26 and never pitched in the majors, so you can’t expect him to go 23-4 with a 1.78 ERA in his rookie year.
I think he’ll be good and I think he will come out of the gate strong. He’ll struggle with some things but overall I think he’s going to have a good rookie year. The unfortunate thing is that Boston is a fishbowl. If Schilling and Beckett don’t pitch like they are expected to and Dice-K struggles then the fans will be unforgiving. If those three pitch well we’ve got a great top three, probably not better than 2004 (as far as the playoffs go) but certainly a top tier three man rotation.
If Matsuzaka pans out and pitches like people think he can then the Red Sox will be looking good in the pitching department for the future, granted you can NEVER have enough pitching, but Beckett, Dice-K, Papelbon and Lester are all young (under 28) and could make up one of the top rotations in the league.
Who’s the Closer?
While we don’t know who the Red Sox closer is going to be in 2007, I’d love to see Papelbon but I doubt they’ll risk him getting hurt again, there is one thing that is for certain. Closer by committee doesn’t work. The Sox have added a number of bullpen arms but no designated closer. I have confidence Theo will figure things out before spring training starts but if he doesn’t add another arm, who will emerge as the closer?
Right now the front runners are Joel Pineiro and Brendan Donnelley. Doesn’t inspire much confidence but Craig Hansen hasn’t proven he’s ready yet, Mike Timlin is more suited to the set up role and Julian Tavarez wasn’t very good until the games didn’t matter. Right now I’d say Donnelley, with Pineiro being more of a long or middle reliever.
How about some love for the offense?
Obviously a large portion of the offense falls on the shoulders of Manny and Big Papi, those two can definitely give the Sox a chance to win any game on any given day. To make another run at the World Series they will have to get some help from other guys. Guys like Youkilis and Lowell have showed what they can do.
Wily Mo Pena will hopefully give the lineup some extra pop when he is playing, while Julio Lugo should add some speed to the line up which could lead to scoring runs with Papi and Manny hitting behind him.
Lugo and Drew (if they sign him) will be the biggest question marks and people will be expecting them to make an immediate impact. Anything you get from Dustin Pedroia is a bonus as far as I am concerned. The guy who I’m looking for to step up is my boy Coco Crisp. I think Crisp got a bad rap last year because he struggled and Damon did so well in New York.
Crisp got off to a great start and really looked like he was going to be a good replacement for Damon, he’s a different player but he adds speed and some power (Damon’s power numbers are helped by Yankee Stadiums short porch in right). I think he will have the biggest turn around; after all he missed a ton of time with that broken thumb. I see Crisp hitting over .300 with 15-20 homers and a solid number of RBI’s.
He’s not a stellar lead off hitter but with Youkilis and Lugo up top the Red Sox can move him down in the line up which adds speed to the part of the line up that will feature Drew (maybe), Varitek, Lowell and Pedroia. A lot of people will be expecting an immediate impact from the new guys but I think Crisp will have something to prove this year and I think he will do it.
Whatever happens in 2007 it’s sure to be another roller coaster ride, so rest your voice Don. I have a feeling Big Papi and the Sox will have a few more walk off wins for you and Jerry.
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