Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Sox Fan Throws Pizza, Hilarity Ensues

Remember how I was talking about how awesome this ‘Sox Appeal’ dating show could be and how great the NESN broadcast team is? Well yesterday’s Patriots Day game provided the world with a little glimpse of exactly why it has the potential to be absolutely hilarious and why Jerry and Don rule.

Incase you live under a rock haven’t seen the video yet here it is. You can also see it at Deadspin and Bar Stool Sports. During JD Drew’s at bat in the seventh inning he hit a pop up into foul territory and a couple fans tried to catch it but collided with Garrett Anderson’s glove getting six dollar beers all over themselves. The seemingly out of no where some dude launches a slice of pizza and drills one of the guys in the neck. This leads to a solid three minutes of commentary from Jerry and Don, needless to say hilarity ensues.

As it turns out these two assclowns were giving the Pizza Guy shit for having pizza at a baseball game and after the guy failed to come up with the foul ball Pizza Guy unleashed hell in the form of Fenway Park Papa Gino’s. The guy that got hit, apparently a Mainer, took exception, his girlfriend tried to calm him down but he clearly wanted to throw down. I picture the guys comments sounding something like this.

“hey fuck you, buddy…oh what, yah I’ll kick ya fuck ass you fucking homo…come over here…no I’m not gonna stop this fucking pussy thinks he’s funny throwing fucking pizza…hey fuck you chuckle head, I’m gonna climb ova these fucking seats and beat ya fucking head in buddy…fucking faggot.”

Yeah just that looped over four or five times, that’s why ‘Sox Appeal’ is going to be hilarious. Every dating show has two things in common, at least one of the people the show trots out is a complete fucking idiot and at least one of the people is a total creep and the shit that comes out of their mouths is either grossly offensive or borderline sexual predator. Now add in the fact that the girls and guys on the show are from the Boston area and are Sox fans means there is at least a one in three chance that either someone will have a really thick accent, the girl is going to have a mouth like a sailor, the guy is going to be an alcoholic, the guy is going to yell anything and everything at anything and everything including the girl by the seventh inning and/or he will try to fight someone in the stands.

Maybe we’ll even get a match made in heaven with a couple of complete clichés, like a drunk guy named Sully, some chick that swears so much it completely ruins the meaning of the word fuck, they’ll both drink heavily and then get into a fight with someone in the stands over something really stupid. Like having pizza in the stands or someone being a Yankees fan at a Red Sox/Yankees game, how dare they right? I mean they can go to hell but do we need to resort to fisticuffs over it.

My only hope is that when it happens Jerry and Don have a full access to camera shots of all the daters during the game that they get to rip into. You know what, for the hell of it why doesn’t NESN get the fat guy from the NESN catalog that they always rip on to be one of the daters, they would have a field day. God I love the Red Sox.

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