Monday, May 7, 2007

F*ck You Very Much Roger

Excuse me. I seem to have left someone out in ‘who is really a traitor’ section of that Tom Brady thing. Yup you guessed it, the quintessential duke of douche-baggery himself, Roger Clemens.

The Rocket announced yesterday that he’ll be returning to the Yankees, whoopdideedoo Basil. Am I the only one that doesn’t care about this? Am I the only person who didn’t want Clemens back? He signed with the Yankees, was that really a surprise to anyone?

I can’t seem to figure out why everyone so surprised at this ‘development’. It’s all over sports radio, hell it’s all over non-sports radio and it’s been all over TV. To me this was a story when I first saw it yesterday and now its old news. Maybe that’s because I’m not on the fence about hating Clemens. I think he’s a prick and I wouldn’t have wanted him back, so in my opinion it’s fine. Go to New York, good riddance now we don’t have to worry about people defending him anymore, everyone is going to be on the hating Roger bandwagon.

The Clemens issue is a perplexing one because of the fact that some people just won’t let it be and just settle for him being a piece of shit. People want to think about when he was a Red Sox, well he’s not he hasn’t been for a long time and he used to kiss a bronze plaque of Babe Ruth before every start, I loath that fucker with every ounce of my being.

I’ve even heard people say they don’t think this is about money…he’s a douche-bag! This is the same guy that said he wanted to be closer to his family in Houston then signed with the TORONTO BLUE JAYS. Oh yeah and he said he wanted to win a world championship but the Blue Jays offered him a few million more than the Yankees. If you were picking between New York (defending champs) and Toronto in 1996 and you wanted to win a championship who would you pick?

So the difference for Clemens was two to three million bucks. Now this is were you could say well he was in Boston and didn’t want to be a traitor and go to New York but two years later he wiggled his way south of the border to the Bronx.

He really doesn’t care about any group of fans. Think about it he screwed Sox fans and now he’s screwed Astros fans by bailing on them. Is this the year that he breaks down, is a waste of money and lets down Yankee fans? I sure hope so.

I think the Red Sox are a better team than the Yankees are this year. New York has an incredible lineup and they will be in the hunt because of it, but adding Clemens alone doesn’t change the fact that they are in trouble with their pitching. Also Clemens would destroy the club house in Boston. They have a good thing going so far and adding in this guy at a prorated 18 million over three months or whatever his deal is for, after not resigning Schilling would just mess everything up. The Sox did the right thing they extended an offer, a chance at redemption with some Boston fans and again Clemens showed he’s about the money. And that’s alright because a lot of guys are, but don’t be all about getting straight cash and then try to act like it’s something more. It’s not. You know what George said to him that was so special?
“How much?”

The fact that he’s slated to return to the mound against the Red Sox at Fenway really just solidifies him as the sports anti-Christ. Sox fans were pretty gracious to him in his “final” start in Boston. I highly doubt he’ll be extended the same courtesy this time around.

When he gets elected to the Hall of Fame and he absolutely will, most likely on his first ballot, he should do the honorable thing and wear a Blue Jays or Astros hat, fucking prick. If I had to think of the most hated sports figures in New England Clemens would at the top of that list along with Ulf Samuelson and Peyton Manning.

At the beginning of the summer one of my friends (a Yankee fan) got me a Red Sox t-shirt and a Celtics hat as a thank you for making sure he and his girlfriend got to the airport and didn’t have to pay to park or any of that stuff (if you didn’t know I am pound for pound the best third wheel in the world). The Red Sox t-shirt was one of those Cooperstown collection Clemens ones. I joked around and said I could never wear it, but now it turns out I wasn’t joking. I can never put that shit on without feeling like I’ve sold out a little each time. Why do they even make those anyway? Is that just some ones idea of a good joke? Like oh we’ll make this shirt then people can buy it for other people as a cruel but kind of funny joke.

Alright I’m done with Clemens, I hope he gets lit up, remember he’s returning to the AL after being in the NL and that always seems to be a tough transition.

There’s a good piece of nostalgic Bill Simmons on ESPN today about Clemens being the Anti-Christ

Real quick aside about the fight – Well worth the 5 dollar and 12 pack of Corona price of admission to watch at Joey’s. I know everyone was pulling for De La Hoya but it turned out exactly as I figured it would. Oscar fought his balls off but lost, and in doing so he made the fight worth watching. Mayweather is incredibly quick and punishing but he dances and most of his punches were counter punches. I’m not Max Kellerman but I liked the split decision because as De La Hoya said after the fight you have to beat the champ and Mayweather did but not as decisively as some make it sound.

You knew there wasn’t going to be a knock out, or even a knock down but as a casual fan I enjoyed the fight because of the way De La Hoya fought. Maybe I’ve been conditioned to root against a loud mouth, cocky, Clubber Lang like athlete but I wanted to see De La Hoya pull off the upset.

The one thing I was disappointed in was the under-card bout(s). Give us a knock out or two there, come on, for 54.99 we can’t get some one that gets knocked cold?

All in all a pretty good weekend thought, the Sox took two of three from Minny in the dome and we had a big boxing match, good stuff. Now we just have to tolerate all kinds of talk about whether or not the horse that won the Kentucky Derby will win the Triple Crown. I’ll save you some time, it’s not happening.

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